I loved my mom; she loved opioids.

Both of my parents struggled with substance use; those genes passed on to me. I have spent the better part of my adult life trying to alter how I feel, needing to change how I think. Often I write pieces from the perspective of a person who has used substances. But, another aspect of my truth is that of a child who grew up with two parents who were incapable, or unwilling to be sober. My experiences helped me to become the person that I am today. I view others who are using substances with empathy and compassion, I feel that it is essential to reflect on the pain caused as a result of being a child of substance users.

As a child, I thought they chose drugs over me

In some regards, they did. Each of my parents had a history of trauma and pain. The reality, however, is that their lack of coping skills directly impacted their ability to parent. Often you hear people say they were poor, so let me put that into context for what that meant for me. We would live in homes with no electricity. It was not uncommon to go days without food. In elementary school, I became aware of the ‘Book-it’ program. The program by Pizza Hut promoted literacy in elementary children through the use of incentives. For every star received, a child received a voucher for a free personal pan pizza. That pan pizza would feed my mother and me.

During school, I could rely on receiving food at school. I can remember sitting in class and counting the time down on the clock for when we would eat. My stomach…